the meeting

Had a lovely surprise visit from my beautiful cousin last three nights ago. As we were reminiscing Kakak Yaq's fond memories that still fresh in our hearts, my hearts bleeds once again. I thought i was strong to talk about her, i thought i can move on without her, oh no i was so inaccurate to judge my own heart. To stop my tears from falling, i stuff the watermelon into my mouth and focus on chewing it, as if to bite out the pain. A rather juicy remedy though.

Yes indeed, we are still clinging to her fond memories to heals our shattered hearts. A memory that slowy vapourates into the thin air. Like her dreams and hopes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkLLPT-ZH3g&feature=related

the beating heart

Your last breath of life left you alone in the dark.
Your hands are cold from soaking too long in the water.
Laying there lifeless and alone for 13 hours.
The truth can't never be told what could be the reason of the accident.
Only you, you alone can tell us what happen that late evening.

The unforseen future

The future, where can you see yourself in it?

A big question we always asked ourself every night before we fall into deep slumber. The anxiety of unsecure future is a big concern to every one of us. No matter how fast or slow our pace are, the future can never be capture nor our past. However, the action of our decision will mould the future we heading to, and every step we took would be the moulded memory we left behind. Just like the fossilized footprint of dinosours we seen today's.

the 8th month while you are gone

Have you ever had the feeling that someone you lost regardless who she or he is, might magically appear in front of you at any random day just to have short talk or a simple hi?!

Yesterday was the day for me. I couldn't help myself but hoping and wondering when is Late Onnie Yaq will drop by and say hi to us here on earth. I miss her, she's my pillar of strength when i was drowning and lost in between of Uni life and reality. If it wasn't hers never ending believes in me, that i can go through the osbtacles, i would simply cramble down hopelessly.

So many " what if " since she enters the gate of Heaven, so many " regret " since she left us, so many " scandal " since then, that we would love to share during our gathering , the sleepless night of us giggling and laughing our heart out, would never be the same again. We will always said this to each other " i remember the time when me, kakak yaq n u ...... "

In loving memory, my beloved Onnie Flora,

" The trace of your memory is like blossom spring to our soul "

taken : 17 August 2009 , the sunset you gave us after a day you enter the gate's of Heaven

the unexpected LOVE

I had slowly falling in love with the world. Drifting away from you, and there you are standing alone at that corner. Slowly and slowly i lose my grip of you; and yet you still stood there watching over me. Until one day, i was lost among the others, forever.

Over the years, of watching me silently at that corner, sadly. Your heart was torn by my unfaithfulness love, and yet your love grew stronger for me.

The world had swallowed up my soul, and was left empty. Alone in the dark, i decided to take my own life. A life you love so much, that i don't appreciate.

As i struggle to breath in the breath of life, there you stood; Majestic, holding your hand out to reach out for me. My heart, my heart ~ aahh its beating again, but its no more empty. Your love had save me, Jesus.

And again i am falling slowly in love with you. Now and forever, to be faithful to you.

* Inspired by Lifehouse - Everything *

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA