the Tiny Island of Paradise

I could only remember bits & pieces of my trip to Honolulu, Hawaii when I was barely a little girl aged 3 years old. Do you know that Honolulu means " sheltered bay "?! My dad was send to attend 3 month course to Hawaii & we tacked along, my mom who was pregnant with my brother & my older sister who was 5 years of age. 

The 3 months of my 3 years old in USA, I can't even remember all of it. However, I do remember my weird way of observing the local people & imitate their doing. One of it was my habit of taking off my footwear once I'm out of the hotel lobby, just because the local people were barefooted on the street. 

When my dad were having his course, my mom would bring us to the beach & swim in the crystal clear water. We did went to the Pearl Harbour, submerged into the bottom level to view the evidence of the WWII but what do I know at that age? Whenever my dad was free from his course he would bring us to various site of tourist attraction. Though I couldn't remember all of it but the pictures are there to tell us  the stories of my younger self adventure.

I guess that trip trigger my inner traveler personality because I can't get enough of the world of it knowledges & beauty of her nature. I have been to many places while I'm growing up, it teaches me to be humble in life & open to any culture beliefs because that makes the earth face radiance with colourful colours. 

I'll post the next entry of my European Summer Trip with my mom & older sister (Kch-KL-Rome-Croatia-Bosnia-Herzegovina-Rome-KL-Kch) .

the many shed of gray in life

Choices. 

Its a matter of choosing the right one, 
be it a simple one or a hard one.
The problem is we don't know does it bring a better future?
However, I always believe in every choices 
there is no wrong or right.
I believe we are the strength of our own future.
 

The Hit

Quote from Rocky Balboa to his Son 

"Let me tell you something you already know. 

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. 

It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees 
and keep you there permanently if you let it. 
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.

But it ain't how hard you hit; 

it's about how hard you can get hit, 

and keep moving forward. 

How much you can take, and keep moving forward. 

That's how winning is done. 

Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth.

But you gotta be willing to take the hit, 

and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. 

Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

I will convey this advise to my future kids. =)

the "nuestra casa de amor"

Last 10 June 2011 afternoon,

My sister, Isla & I along with our brother Carl & Bernard went to RHB HQ Satok for our loan agreement signing. It was a blessing day indeed, the feeling of one step closer to our first home was like a kid in a amusement park; perhaps more than that.

The proud & blessed feeling was so supreme that I coloured & trimmed my hair off * well actually it was just coincident that the next day my friend is getting married = p *

Now exactly one month later, we will heading down to Miri & meet with the housing lawyer to sign off the house agreement this coming Saturday. It will be a greatest birthday gift I gave myself & yes share it with my family.

Looking forward of decorating the house & what not. The house might be small for all those big family gathering but a house is never too small for big families =)

It wouldn't be my last house though, somehow my dream house is just a future away from now =)

Thank you Heavenly Father for the blessings you had given to my sister & I =)

the Fish Net

The broken fish net has once again torn,
with all of those fishes I can't catch,
my eyes are fills of tears,
Be not afraid of the sea,
It will make us anew,
the strength it gives you,
made of tears of angels.

Prayer for Success in Work

Glorious St. Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor,
obtain for me the grace to work conscientiously,
putting the call of duty above my many sins;
to work with thankfulness and joy,
considering it an honor to employ and develop,
by means of labor,
the gifts received from God;
to work with order, peace, prudence and patience,
never surrendering to weariness or difficulties;
to work, above all, with purity of intention,
and with detachment from self,
having always death before my eyes and the account which I must render of time lost,
of talents wasted, of good omitted, of vain complacency in success so fatal to the work of God. All for Jesus, all for Mary, all after thy example, O Patriarch Joseph. Such shall be my motto in life and death.

Amen.

the Silence

Can I have the silence of my turbulence heart?

A greedy heart I have,
for you to feel,
let the sorrows & pain be fade away.
Can you hear the crying heart of mine?

St Valentine's Day

Who is he?

He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. Whoever he was, Valentine really existed because archaeologists have unearthed a Roman catacomb and an ancient church dedicated to Saint Valentine.

Why 14 February?

Valentine was a holy priest in Rome, who, with St. Marius and his family, assisted the martyrs in the persecution under Claudius II. He was apprehended, and sent by the emperor to the prefect of Rome, who, on finding all his promises to make him renounce his faith in effectual, commended him to be beaten with clubs, and afterwards, to be beheaded, which was executed on February 14, about the year 270. In 496 AD Pope Gelasius marked February 14th as a celebration in honor of his martyrdom.

(source : http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=159 )

The flowing river

I was reading this article when I began to question myself, how should I love? Was my way of love convey a wrong direction or was it not? and yes to love is like this :

"One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."

Same goes with magic moment, lots of times when we hopes for miracle to happen and yet we are left heartbroken. But afraid not, the magic is there, just open up our eyes and feel it in your heart. Be grateful of everyone, everything, everywhere you are, because these are the ingredients to magical moment. Like this writer said :

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken. "

quotes from “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept”

The Unexpected Coming Part 2

Third day of February, I was woke up by my dad's loud radio volume. I wasn't able to open my sleepy eyes but my ears are wide awake. Laying motionless on bed makes me a dreamy girl.

It was 9am when I can finally get out of the bed and boil myself a pot of water, for my bath. No heater ever since our ancient heater broke. Then Bernard messaged me saying that the CNY mass was over and they are thinking of visiting 1st before going home.

By the time all four of us ready, it was 12 noon already. Headed to Uncle Chiong's house at Matang for our 1st house, than to Uncle Peter's, proceed to Aunty Ah Ling's, before to Uncle Lee's and Mang's house. By the time we are at Mang's, I was in pain due to my period and Papa was already half drunk * He even fall aslept at the dinner table * So I give a called to Bernard and told him that we couldn't make it.

A whole day with my family indeed a blessed for me. Bernard came over and spend his time with me before my early flight the next morning. I still want to be with them but due to time constraint and unplanned event came out, I have to cut it short.

The Unexpected Coming Part 1

I begin my February with lots of laughter and love.

On the 2nd day of February, all of us went to workshop and had our BBQ lunch with the guys. It was fun to be surrounded by friends before the long holidays. After the office hour, I went home and quickly pack my things for I'm coming home for CNY with Bernard & family in Kuching. It was a surprise for him, didn't told him that I'll be waiting for him at the airport that night.

The moment we touched down at KIA, the cold air greeted us. I was freaking cold, can't even concentrate on my breathing. Bernard's flight expected to be arrived around 10pm, so I have 1 hour to go. The coldness is killing me. I can't wait to hold my sweetheart in my arms. 

I saw him. He was looking outside searching for his family member. Ambrose quickly greeted him after Bernard step out of the arrival hall, and I was just behind them by 1.5 meter. Once they reach the Kenari, I tap Bernard's shoulder and said " ho~ why you didn't wait for me?".

To see his confuse and surprise face turns into a big smile was the most precious moment. He was so happy that he can't stop smiling. Glad that my unexpected coming brings a smile in his heart that night. Once we reach his home, his family member prepared one after another dishes of chickens, fishes & veggie. The dinner was filling. 

That midnight, all of us enjoy the fireworks with my hands on my ears, it was deafening. 2 hours after that, he and Ambrose sent me home.

- to be continue -

Quoted Paulo Coelho :
" Love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. "

The Answer toThe Pleasing Game

I was reading Paulo Coelho blog, I stumble upon this article in his page. Looks like I'm the one who refuse help from others and it made me realize life is not what we always hope for. The answer is right there in front of us, just that we never take a closer look at it.

Are coincidences in our life are a part of our destiny and if everything is written as we say ‘maktub’, then what is the point in following our dreams? (by Saakshi)

There’s a traditional story that in my view sums up quite well the answer to your question:
There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.

The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region. The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee – help that he denied since he was sure God was going to help him.

The second day, when he had to take refuge in the second floor of his house given that the waters had taken over all of the first floor, a rescue team came to his house and offered him to get out of there – help that he again refused given that God had promised him to get out of there.

The third day came a helicopter to rescue him but he was adamant that God was going to save him.
Not long after he drowned and died. Once in heaven he complained to God: “why didn’t you help me as you promised?”

To which God replied: ” I sent your neighbor, a rescue squad and even a helicopter to which you simply declined!”

You see Saakshi: things are written, but you need to be attentive to the signs that constantly try to remind you that life wishes you to be “saved”. And salvation is the path that leads you to your dream, your fulfillment in this life.

The pleasing game

I'm tired of playing this pleasing game. What happen when I stop playing?

Would you understand or would you assume i have give up on you?

Im torn between me and you. If I choose you, while I'm dying inside, could both of us be happy?

There are times when i felt, my future was ruined by you. I told you over and over, I'm capable of being happy by my own choice. Stop it because I'm tired of pleasing you anymore, life.

the restless heart

When action get the best of you, what would you do?

Do you run and hide or face it like a real man?

Playing the chasing game aren't we?!

If that's what it will be, would you stop and laugh it off?

Where could be the loophole?

Is it me or is it just ME?

Life, sometimes you are sweet to me but most of the time i'm cruel to you.

The floating castle

The child purest love was vanished through thin air. 

Her happy ending never come trues, forever.

Her tears goes dried, picking herself up full of bruises & pain.

The castle forever float in the air.

The foundation of her dreams will never knock on her door.

 All that are left, a broken heart that's beats stronger than before. 

.

the life cycle

Finally, a writer worth to be shared with all.

" One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. "

" Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. "

" That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. "

Check out his blog at http://paulocoelhoblog.com/

the earliest flight

8th January 2011, 30 mins to Midnight.

Two live's were protected by their Guardian Angels.
Two families almost lost their beloved son and father.
Thank you Heavenly Father for giving us the chance to wake up from our sleep, now that we are awake we promise to cherish those who are dear to us.

Im glad i was there to take care of my macho papa, he is neither perfect or powerful but one thing for sure his life is the most precious to me. Thank you Lord for letting me perform my duties as his daughter before im too late.

To those out there, please drive with love. We all are worthy to live our life meaningfully.

The 7th Day of 2011

Finally i had time to update my blog after the long week of holiday with family & friends. So here are my monthly recap of 2010

Jan : My second year in AMALGAMATED PLANT ENGINEERING S/B as their Mechanical Engineer who happens to work with a group of fun people.

Feb : Celebrate Our 1st Valentine at Singapore after being in long distance relationship for 4 year. Im blessed to be loved & love the same man who makes my hearts beat unstable no matter what he does. Oh it happens to be CNY too that week, so we decided to go Bintan Island for sweet escape.

March : back to my work life & start working my ass off.

April : getting ready all the documentation for sign off for MDD 142 & 139 project.

May : counting the days for the most anticipating vacation of the years.

June : late may off the four of us went to Jeju Island & celebrate our Gawai thr b4 head off to Seoul that morning. South Korea is indeed a beautiful place to visit with family & friends. im officially head over heels with Jeju. it wont be my last time to South Korea, ki ta ri da ga (,^^)V

July : celebrate my birthday with adut,mak, apak, miriut & marlene. had a wonderful cheese cake. loving the moment but i so tired of working 24/7. Shutdown this year is more challenging.

August : continue the module 2 shutdown after 2 weeks of rest from mod 6 shutdown previous month.

Sep : by mid of Sep im back to my QS position in MDD proj. Celebrate my raya in kuching with family. visited inik biak together with Mang's, Adut's & Kana's families.

Oct : a quite boring month as it pass slow. and i cant wait for abg boy & fera wedding in the coming months. Oh & the Singapore Dec Trip (,^^)V

Nov : the wedding of the year in BANA family. All of us had fun that night. indeed wedding brings many families closer.

Dec : went to Singapore with Sonia, Adut, Salina, Bernard & Isla. that week it happens to be Mnet Ultimate Concert. The three days was full of fun chasing over 2PM, MBLAQ, 2AM, B2ST & MISS A. the month of Dec alone has so many happening events, not to forget Fera's wedding & Christmas.

Basically im blessed with all the love i had received that year, so im gonna give more love this 2011.