I thought i would be fine when i went to Late eika Simon Funeral Mass last saturday ...
I thought im strong to face it once again ...
I thought .......
The moment i step into d church, my heart crushed into pieces ... "Heavenly Father, give me the strenght to go through this once again ... lend me ur strong arm to walk side by side with us" i prayed
My body was trembling , my hands shake so badly that i thought i might be fainting in d church , i was cold as a fish ... people said " no one can understand the sorrow " ... but i truely do, it might be different than losing a sibling compare to ur better half.
When Onni Yaq leaves us, my world was blur and empty, i remember the morning before i knew her death, i wake up feeling something was missing, and the whole morning i been searching for the missing parcel ...
Upon hearing the news, i was numb ... 5 seconds feels like a nano second, surreal are the feelings , and yes it still does ... im thankful grandma was there to lend me her shoulder, must be painful for her to hear me crying so badly ... leaving my hectic work, Project Manager and my team mate without further explaination , was the most selfish act i ever done.
Onni, im so lost without you ... when you say " till we meet again " at the bus terminal ... never in my mind it was our last good bye ...
Remember our fav phase " kita kan kaya " ?? the Manuk island Sep 09 trip, Korea 2010 trip, Bali Dec 09 trip and our never ending " what if world "?? the weekend jalan2 cari makan event, the RM80 shabu2 , beach outing, walking / driving in the heavy rain just for your wallet and yes there goes my cartoon movie ticket ... i think both of them "kahwin lari" that rainy night.
Onni, you are my missing parcel.
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